you know girls can tell when you look at their boobs

i don’t care how quickly you glance, 1 second is like 5 seconds in boob time

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i hope iphone 6 is a flip phone

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when you try to tell someone a joke but you punch up the fuckline

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Shout out to everyone dating their crush. You put yourself out there and look at you now. Wow. Proud of you.

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